My childhood was traumatic. Maybe not in the ways that some experience it, but it was still for me difficult. I am processing and coming to terms with the trauma that I have experienced and hidden inside of my body. I didn't admit to it having an affect and I just found ways of coping with it. I didn't realize that I was patterning my behavior after things that I had experienced as a little girl. I operated from my head and disassociated from my body. There was too much pain to allow it to have a voice. My head and heart became disconnected, and I was unable to find the coherency between the two. Result: stress, anxiety, insecurity, self-rejection, critical judgements inward focused. Desperately trying to fit in and feel loved. Hiding behind masks.
The fact is, I experienced trauma of various kinds. My open Human Design (7 of 9 energy centers) also feeds into amplifying other people's trauma and emotions, which I am only now beginning to understand and separate from. I experienced abandonment, neglect, emotional neglect and abuse, narcissistic relationships, an abortion, coerced sexual encounters, an alcoholic parent, just to name a few. Never mind anytime I had to hide my truth just for the sake of feeling a sense of safety. It was in my mind dangerous and my body and nervous system were wired to remain hypervigilant all of the time. Ultimately, I felt like an object for most of my life, something to pass back and forth, something to wipe your feet on, something to hide your wounds in, a wallet to pay for the other person's desires.
This is where Human Design and Astrology come in. These two fields provided a map for me to see my truth and my beauty. I am able to shift my story as I heal the parts of me that are asking for help. My low expression in these charts gave me direction and focus of where to target my effort. These charts gave me the ability to accept the truth of who I am and to live according to what is right and best for me, to shed my masks. These charts have given me the ability to make decisions again - in a way that supports my growth and development. I am able to now decern more of what is mine and what I picked up along the way. Living life in a state of love and gratitude is all about energetic frequency. These traumas affect the frequency of your energy which then leads to attracting people and experiences that match that energy.
If you are ready to attract a new set of experiences because the old ones keep you in a state of stress and fear, then it is time for a new approach. Human Design and Astrology don't give you a free pass or solve all of your problems. What they do is provide you a story line and recognize the lessons that you are here to learn and grow from. They give you a practical sense of energy and how energy affects our expression. These tools are what I use to navigate my way from a place of heartache from wearing masks to a place of fulfillment by accepting myself. You are free to choose what energy healing practices work for you. Talk therapy and conventional medicine only get you so far. For true healing to occur, try the invisible realm of energy work. The investment is worth it, the results are priceless!
If you are looking for someone to guide you through the process, I am here for you. Send me a message and we will see if we are a good fit for each other.